A trip in my shoes

Everyone thinks it’s glamorous to fly and work in Hawaii. I tell everyone it’s not what it’s cracked up to be and no one believes me. So join me on a trip to Honolulu via my employer.

Monday

1:12PM – Receive text message, instrument down in the lab. Troubleshoot over the phone while driving home from Turlock and I can’t get it working.

2:04PM – Arrive home. Make travel arrangements via AMEX. Pack clothes, tools, parts and more importantly camera equipment. Dinner is help yourself Chinese food.

Tuesday

5:00AM – Wake up eat a quick light breakfast. Check email.

6:40AM – Sandy drives me to the airport. I say goodbye to Mommi & Daddy as they are flying out in the evening.

6:50AM – Check in for my flight on Hawaiian Airlines. I get irritated at everyone that is slowing down the ticket counter by being in the wrong line & refusing to use the kiosk. Charge for checking in 3 bags, $175. That’s on top of the $780 last minute airfare mind you.

7:05AM – Get in the security line that almost makes it out the terminal.

7:20AM – Get to gate 8 – I’m annoyed at everyone who puts their bags on the seats rather than allow someone to sit there. Update blog.

7:42AM – Boarding. No one wants to wait til their row is called. They’d rather clog up the gate.

8:05AM – Finally get to my seat 27C

8:40AM – Lift off. Listen to Hawaiian music on my ipod to get in the mood. Guy in 27A is annoying me as he is throwing his trash on the floor.

12:05PM – (local time) – 5½ hours later land in HNL. Guy in 27A is now clipping his fingernails. As I walk past I can see all his nail clippings on the seat. Dodge all the tourist as I race down to baggage claim F1. Send Sandy a text message to let her know I arrived. Release all the gas I’ve been holding from the flight while moving so no one will suspect me. Make sure I gas the guy from 27A. Pile my bags on my luggage cart. I decide to forego the shuttle bus and walk the ¼ mile to the rental counter. The Dollar Rental Car is empty (woohoo!).  Pick up my compact car and head out on the H1. Merge onto the H2 and take it until it ends just past Mililani. Enter the base via the Lyman Gate and submit my car to inspection by the military police.

1:30PM – Arrive at the lab. I’m annoyed because the instrument is working fine and I cannot find a problem. This means I spent all this time & money for nothing.

3:23PM – Leave the lab and head to the Waikiki Sheraton.

4:10PM – Park the car in the garage. Drag my bags to the hotel check in. There’s a huge group ahead of me checking in and they’re not happy about their AARP rate.

4:40PM – Get to my room, change clothes.

5:00PM – Arrive at Cheeseburger in Paradise. Dinner for 1 please. Damn that beer tastes good. Having trouble keeping my eyes open.

5:40PM – Finished with dinner, I walk past the shops back to the hotel.

6:00PM – Back to the room. Can’t keep my eyes open. Start to nod off. Try to do some paperwork, it’s no use.

8:00PM – Fall asleep.

Wednesday

7:18AM – Wake up. Go to Honolulu Coffee Company across the street for a cup of coffee and a chocolate croissant. Chat with the gal behind the counter about coffee making techniques.

8:53AM – Back to the room to get ready for a 10:00AM WebEx Meeting.

10:50AM – Meeting done. Run out the door to the airport. Fill the tank before turning the car in. It only takes 3.143 gallons! Car rental is only $27.63, cheap! Throw my crap on the Ag scanner, get a lovely sticker for all that trouble. Once again people refuse to use the kiosk. Guess they just want to talk to someone. Go through security. Yes dear it’s gonna buzz, it’s a metal detector! Now take all stupid jewelery off.

12:20PM – Walk into Stinger Ray’s for lunch. Sit there for 6 minutes as all the waitresses ignore me. Leave and spend my money at Burger King (better service).

12:46PM – Stroll to Gate 60. Eat lunch on my lap.

12:56PM – Start boarding. Everyone enters at once rather than follow directions.

1:25PM – Seat 13B. Woman in 12B bashes me in the head with her purse as she slings it over her shoulder. It leaves no mark but causes me to cuss and think evil thoughts.

1:45PM – Liftoff, start nodding off.

3:03PM – Wake up just in time for drinks.

3:53PM – Dinner is Spinach Manicotti. Pretty damn good.

4:05PM – Finish with dinner. Watch the movie, Love Happens. Good thing it’s dark so no one can see me tearing up.

8:25PM – (Local time) Land.

8:38PM – Baggage Claim, as usual it takes forever.

8:52PM – Get my bags, call Sandy

8:57PM – Sandy picks me up. Hi Hunny!

9:07PM – Arrive home and go straight to bed.

Now wasn’t that exactly what you imagined it would be?